Being a Malyali

                   Not all South Indians' are Madrasi

When we go to office in the morning we are greeted with 'Vanakam', instead of usual, 'Good Morning'.

Me: (Grins) 'Vanakam' is not a Malayalam word.

Him: How does that matter, it’s a south Indian word. Right?

Me: (Murmuring)…aggrr... Calm down, CALM down.

Settling down to work and a colleague interrupts- 

Him: Hey what did you eat for breakfast today? Idli, Dosa, Sambhar? I really love south Indian breakfast.
Me: (One raised eyebrow and lips tight closed)












I am a proud Malayali. 
A keralite, born and raised in the metropolitan city of Mumbai. No, we do not eat idli- sambhar- dosa in our breakfast every day. It is our specialty dish like you all; Punjabi’s specialty food is butter chicken and dhokla- undiyo of Gujarati’s but we do not assume you all eat missal paav, aloo paratha in your breakfast everyday.


You think all south Indians are Madrasi? 
My dear friend, should I blame it on your low IQ or your poor education? Why don’t you go back and study map of India? Make sure to scroll down towards south of India and zoom your eyes to see the distinction between Kerala and Tamil Nadu. Also, make sure to locate Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka for your kind information. And when you witness it through your own vision make sure to remember Madras is not a part of Kerala but falls in Tamil Nadu and was once its capital, now known as Chennai. This happened because you people have bullied them big time I guess (Let me blame it on you people :D). After all these wisdom talks if you still have a problem retaining information then please excuse me if at all I start baptizing all north Indians- UPiites. No, I don’t want to see that North India also has Punjabi, Haryanavi,etc. All I want to label you people is Bihari. Fair enough? If you try to bully us then please memorize,we inherit wits unlike your pseudo- intelligence.


Yes we have curly hair. 
Yes we are tanned skin. No, that did not happen because we watch Sun Television channel. It is because our ancestors have toiled under the sun and also the fact that we are hardworking people. Perspiration leaves salt residual on the skin thus, making the skin darker in shade. We are also geographically located near the sea, SALTY sea. So, salt + water = tanned skin. Logical enough? Can it be the possibility of inheriting our dusky complexion? Still if you think that all beautiful girls are MADE IN NORTH INDIA then why don’t you take a look at Asin, Vidya Balan, Isha Sharvani, former Miss India Parvati Omnakutty or the international super model PadmaLakshami. And as long as we are comfortable in our skin it shouldn't bother you. (Facepalm)



Kerala is a Communist state. 
Agreed. But why on earth do you think all Malayalis are communist minded too? Can’t we have our own opinion? Can’t we support socialist party? And even if I do support a socialist party or have an independent view, then why do you think I keep anti- Kerala ideology? Does belongingness only sustain if we believe in common ideology? I am a Keralite but I do not believe in Communism. Does that counterfeit my identity?



Before forwarding me Rajnikant’s joke or e-mails with a subject line “Your Gaonwalla” make sure to first research about his origin. Did I ever said that Ravi kishan is a Punjabi actor or Jimmy Shergill is Bhojpuri? Mammotty and Mohanlal are supposed to be Kerala’s  known actors. I am sure you must not have heard about it. I can just pity on your oblivious.



So, if you ask me, if I own an elephants at my native place? 
I would say, No. If you want to know why our food is made in coconut oil then it is just because coconut is produced more in quantity and it is wiser to use those commodities which are produced more in a region. We call it adapting to our natural surrounding. I don’t think so I have ever raised a stupid question before, like asking a Bengali – why do you eat fish more? To a Maharastrian- why groundnut is used more in your food? Or why there are more sugarcane shops? To a Punjabi- why do you use mustard oil? Why is your specialty Makkhe di Roti and Sarso da saag? Isn’t that a common sense? Or is it like our Geography grasping power is more than yours.



You think I stay in house boat? 
You are wrong. I have travelled in a house boat and it's more of a tourist attraction. 

You think our festival is Pongal? 
Then let me make it clear that Tamil Nadu’s New Year celebration is known as Pongal. Our festivals are Onam and Vishu. 

BharatNatyam is the regional dance of Kerala? 
Why don’t you shoot yourself or rent a brain. Haven’t you heard of Kathakkali and Mohini Attam? 

“Kolavari di” and “Aa Ante Amlapuram” are malyali song?
 No, they are not but I can tell you meaning of these songs. And 
Rowdy Rathod is not a remake of  a Malayali flick. 

You think we always wear white sari with golden border (set-mundu)? I would say, it is mostly worn during festivals and wedding occassion, like Maharastrains wear Navaari saari on certain occasions.

Why do men wear lungi?
 It's a matter of comfort to them. Why men in Kerala keep mustache? They think it’s manly.



And no I am not defending Malayali’s but actually creating awareness for my not so aware Indian counterparts. I am literally appalled by the sheer ignorance of few people in the society. Why you have to be a victim of attribution bias? Is it not your fundamental error? Why can’t we all be more tolerant instead of socially out-casting certain section or stereotyping a few?